January-I Hate My Wife and I Think these are the Possible Reasons

Filed in Articles by on March 16, 2022

– I Hate My Wife –

In most marriages, there is always a sweet period of bliss immediately after the marriage. A lot of affection, attention, care, and love will flow between the partners. Unfortunately, after a few months or years, problems sometimes set in some marriages. Soon, you hear the man saying “I hate my wife”. This is becoming more common in recent years?

What could possibly instigate a husband to say “I hate my wife”? At what point did their love turn to hate and how did it all happen? Interestingly, these may be two persons who were professing so much love for each other initially.

Personally, I consider a lot of things that could make me feel I hate my wife. Some of these things are common with other married men. So let us look at some of the reasons I could have for saying or feeling that I hate my wife. Maybe you can also have similar reasons.

14 Possible Reason Why I Would Feel I Hate my Wife

Even though different husbands will propose their own felt reasons for hating their wives generally, there are some very prominent reasons. These reasons are what you will find below.

1. Poor Sexual Life

Truly, it is not surprising that the number one reason why men resent their wives has to do with sex.

Thus, when a man feels like he’s being sex-starved or his once adventurous sex life has become non-existent, the underlying conclusion he draws is that his spouse no longer finds him attractive and this instills feelings of inadequacy, rejection, and abandonment.

Inherently, men express emotional intimacy through sex so when their partner turns down sex, to him she has turned down his affection and him as a person.

When a wife uses sex to punish her husband or as a bargaining chip, a man sees this as the highest form of emotional blackmail. Withholding sex alienates a man and makes him hate his wife.

2. Poor Attitude of Gratitude

In reality, the emotional and sexual connection is not all that is needed to make a marriage work. At times, couples have to connect on the most random and mundane things like paying bills or driving the kids to school. So, when a husband contributes to the smooth running of the household, he wants his efforts to be appreciated.

Normally, a man wants to be patted on the back for the little things he does, to be praised and thanked for paying attention to small things. Progressively feeling less acknowledged leads to hate.

3. Being Materialistic and Contributing Nothing

Frequently, one prominent thing men complain about when seeking professional help in their marriage is their spouse’s poor financial choices.  Especially when he is the sole provider who is trying to provide for his family and make ends meet.

Thus, husbands get frustrated when their wives spend all their hard-earned money on frivolities, so ladies that extra pair of shoes you know you don’t need but want anyway could be the last string holding your relationship together, think twice.

4. Being Taken for Granted

Mostly, husbands grow disillusioned when they don’t feel empathy from their wives or they get the impression she no longer cares about their well-being. Hence, the husband begins to feel hopeless, unheard, and invalidated. A man needs to know his feelings matter, and that his wife is supportive of his talents, skills, and dreams.

So, if you always criticize him, ignore him or make important decisions without including him, he ends up feeling like a little boy and at some point, your opinion and approval won’t matter anymore.

5. Sharing Secrets of the Marriage with Outsiders and Third Parties

Constantly complaining about your husband or marriage to your friends and family is sure to make him hate you. Honestly, no man wants his private business to be discussed by those around him.

Maybe, talking to your girlfriends may seem harmless to you but to him, it is seen as betrayal, you are breaking his trust and humiliating him in the process and this is unforgivable.

Men find it hurtful for you to involve other people who have no business being there in your relationship. This will make him pull back from you and leave room for hatred to be instilled.

6. When there is Detachment

Holistically, detachment can happen on two levels. First, it can happen on an emotional level, where you start walling yourself off, as a defense mechanism, because it’s too painful to be vulnerable and get rejected.

So perhaps you don’t look at your partner as much, you don’t share what’s going on in your life anymore, you don’t talk as much, and you try to be around them less.

Second, you detach physically. You stop providing affection. The hugs, kisses, and snuggles go away. You start becoming an island within your marriage for safety, so you’re not continually hurt from the sexual rejection.

7. Controlling behavior

At the start of a relationship, both parties are on their best behavior to impress their significant other and show off their good qualities.

However, after they get married, things change because they start to see each other’s real personalities.

This is normal and expected. However, if you notice a drastic change that makes you question your decision to marry this person, something must be wrong.

Maybe she forbids you to do things that shouldn’t be her concern. Certainly, this can so prick a man’s ego and make him despise and hate you.

8. Feeling Infallible

Naturally, women tend to be so stubborn. They find it quite strenuous to accept their fault and mistakes. In short, it can often appear as though the woman is adopting some traditionally male traits and therefore, by default, is stripping her husband of those very same traits.

Sometimes, it’s just her personality and at first, the partner didn’t mind but other times it’s a consequence of the way the couple lives.

However, there are instances when women are just stubborn, controlling, and/or ruthless in their stance and don’t show signs they’ll change. This creates a feeling of desperation and confinement in a man.

9. Disrespect

Though a man may try to play down some disrespectful act by his wife, it gets to a point where dissatisfaction sets into the point that it turns to hatred.

Thus, when it comes to moments when a man feels disrespected, it is hard not to ask yourself why they liked you in the first place, or what you liked about them.

Truthfully, no true and loving relationship can survive without respect. Respect is one of the most important things when it comes to stable and healthy relationships.

10. Absence of Fun and Spontaneity

Do you miss the person your wife used to be? Do you miss the fun you used to have? This happens to a lot of couples.

It is known that most people become “less fun” as they age. They take fewer risks and don’t have the same energy as they did when they were young.

Also, they stop putting in effort and adopt the “minding my own business” attitude and that’s not the right attitude for a successful marriage or relationships in general.

Aside from that, it’s common for many people to give up on their personal goals once they’re in a relationship. This leads to dissatisfaction and a tendency to stick to the status quo.

Probably the most prevalent problem in many marriages is the absence of emotional connection that comes from a lack of vulnerability, trust, and patience.

This leads to stagnation and no objectives. There are no mutual goals that would keep things exciting and no vulnerability to keep you close.

Sometimes, you probably feel as though you’re wasting your life and find yourself imagining all the things you could do if it wasn’t for your wife and your boring life.

11. Feeling Neglected

The need for men to have emotional support is mostly downplayed. This is mostly because of all the hurtful stereotypes surrounding men and how they should or shouldn’t behave.

Generally, most men are expected not to show emotions and to man up. This is why they end up bottling their emotions and feeling deprived of the intimacy and care that they actually desire. Hurt feelings, disappointments, and neglect happen without the wife even noticing.

Thus, when neglect happens over and over again, it’s normal to ask yourself if what you have is a relationship at all.

12. Incidence of Cheating

In terms of ranking, infidelity ranks very high in building hate within a man. Unfortunately, there are cases when infidelity happens and this changes a relationship forever. It is definitely one of the moments or maybe the very first moment when a man thinks, “I hate my wife”.

However, reasons usually not enough for a cheated partner to truly forgive and make peace with the fact that their trust has been broken. After the affair, there’s often a lot of resentment, passive aggression, and blaming.

13. Emotional Abuse and Fraud

Talking of emotional problems, men sometimes get even more abused than women. However, society has chosen to publicize that of the wives more. Thus, the most common and easily ignored, but alarming ways are: belittling, insulting, and humiliating at home, and in front of other people. It includes constant blaming and lying, threats, and punishments.

As earlier stated, the problem with the abuse of men by women is that it’s often not taken seriously by most people, and unfortunately, the man himself often minimizes or ignores the abuse.

14. Ignored responsibilities

Presently, there are a lot of men who feel as though their wives don’t do their share of responsibilities, especially when they’re the only providers.

Subsequently, this dynamic inevitably leads to ruining the relationship. When one person is always slacking and the other is putting in the extra effort, there will be frustration and strong feelings of resentment.

I do not know how often you have felt you hate your wife. Did you really have a concrete reason for feeling, “I hate my wife”? Do you agree with some of the reasons given or you wish to add your own? You can do so in the comment section.

It is wise that we aim to find solutions to the problems of broken homes and marriages. Accordingly, if you could decipher why you would feel hate for your wife and I could tell why I hate my own wife, we can find a remedy for them. Also, if the women know what these possible reasons are, it would help them better manage their homes.

You are at liberty to share this article with your friends.

CSN Team.

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