Reasons Why Couples Divorce: The rate of divorces in Nigeria is not much compared to other countries. Marriage is a union between two individuals which is blessed by God. Marriage is also not a bed of roses where you expect everything to work out fine; it takes lots of patience and understanding from both parties to make it work.
However, there are times when couples feel they can no longer tolerate each other and would be better off apart thus seeking divorce. Below are 20 reasons why couples divorce in Nigeria.
Lack of Preparation
This happens everywhere in the world not just in Nigeria. Young people think they are prepared for anything when their bodies are matured but their minds are infantile. They tend to marry by impulse when they are in fact not prepared.
You need to be emotionally, intellectually and psychologically prepared before getting married and this is one of the reasons why couples divorce. Youths need to learn to wait and be patient and not rush into marriage.
Lack of Courtship
Often times, young people get married without giving themselves enough time to get to know each other better, they just meet, get attracted to each other and believe they are in love. Courtship gives you the opportunity to get to know the person’s character, habits and views of life.
During courtship, you will find out whether you are really in love, if you both are compatible, your HIV status, if you both are fertile, etc. All these must be considered before thinking of marriage because it is also one of the reasons couples divorce.
Lack of Compatibility
Physical attraction is often regarded as love and it is one of the mistakes young couples make. They discover that they are incompatible with their spouses after marriage; this is when reality dawns on them and most couples may not be able to manage the situation which often times lead to a divorce.
Lack of Trust
This is very important in marriage because when you have doubts about your partner, you will always be in disbelief and it can create serious problems in the marriage which might eventually lead to a divorce.
Lack of Communication
This is the reason most couples drift apart over time. It is important to be able to express and share your feelings with your spouse.
Mismatch of Ages
When a man of 45 marries a girl of 24, he should keep in mind that he is aging while she will bloom of beauty in her prime and likewise a man of 35 who marries an older woman of about 40 and she has few years to conceive a child.
Experts say the biggest and most healthy age difference should be at most five years.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy in marriage is one of the things that keep it alive, lack of intimacy makes the marriage dull over time which often leads to divorce. Lack of intimacy is common among working class spouses and long distance marriages.
Nigerians have a certain attitude towards having children couples are often times anxious about having children after two years of marriage. Women are often times blamed for being infertile even when the problem might be from the man and this causes a huge problem in some marriages.
A spouse might be fade up with the situation and decide to make children outside the marital home and this decision often times lead to divorce.
Infidelity has caused so many divorces not only in Nigeria. Being married to a person means you share everything with only that person.
Infidelity in marriage leads to lots of emotions like anger, betrayal, hurt and pains which sometimes is very hard to forgive and forget, it could even lead to death for most depressed persons.
This is mostly seen in women who compare their husbands to other men, either financially or otherwise and this often results in divorce because they are not contented with what is provided.
Third Party Interference
Marriage is a union between two people but there are times when third parties are invited to help settle issues between time and this is common but it only becomes a problem when the third party worsens the case. Some couples may want a divorce due to the advices from third parties.
A selfish spouse will always put his/her interest above the other and the deprived spouse will feel unloved and unwanted which might lead to divorce overtime.
Couples, who want their marriage to last long, must have mutual respect. Disrespect brings about anger and frustration which could result to impatience, criticism, etc. which could eventually lead to a divorce.
Pride and Ego
This is one of the reasons couple divorce. Where there is pride and ego, there are bound to be problems. In cases where the wife earns more than the husband, pride might come in; she might want to feel equal to the husband instead of being humble and respecting him as the head of the family.
This is one of the major reasons for divorce in Nigeria. In situations where one’s spouse anuses the other, it will lead to serious problems. This behavior is often seen in men especially those who cannot control their anger and tend to vent it out on their wives so sometimes to safe the woman’s life, it is better she divorces him.
Another reason why couples divorce is unforgiveness. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven and when a spouse has chosen not to forgive the other, they will not live in happiness. Unforgiveness leads to grief and bitterness which brings about hatred and wickedness.
Absence of Love
Love is the essential element in any relationship, in this case marriage. When there’s love, there is communication, compromise, forgiveness, happiness, oneness, tolerance, trust and understanding.
Love is the reason why people get married and when there is no love in marriage, it is bound to fall apart.
Lack of Openness
Everyone wants to impress the ones they love. This is why most times; spouses lie about themselves during courtship for instance, the man lies to the lady about his wealth or the lady lies about her previous relationships, etc and when the truth reveals itself, it may lead to a divorce.
This is a common reason for divorce in Nigeria. It is known that understanding is the key to a strong and healthy marriage.
Without disputing the fact that a graduate can get married to illiterate, it is advisable that you marry someone with the same level of intellect as you.
Leading Separate Lives
Couples must have well-defined goals; no marriage can survive when the couples are living separate lives.
Where the couples are not spending much time together, there is bound to be an emotional disconnection which could often times lead to a divorce.
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