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200 Best and Funny Facebook Status Quote (Love, Life, Attitude)

Filed in Entertainment by on March 10, 2020

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200 Best and Funny Facebook Status Quote (Love, Life, Attitude)

Funny Facebook Status Quote – In this article, my main emphasis will be on funny status quotes on Facebook, these are simple short funny quotes that you can use to trigger a smile on the face of your friends and loved ones on Facebook.

Funny Facebook Status Quote

There are meanings and expressions behind every status that is being updated on social media. Example of some of these social media platforms include Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter, and many others.

 

You do not need to type many words to make your readers smile, it is just about the creativity and how hilarious the status appears. So just feel free to go through these funny Facebook status quotes I have in stock for you.

200 Best and Funny Facebook Status Quote (Love, Life, About Me, Attitude) 

 1. I’m pretty much destined for greatness. I’m just pacing myself so I don’t freak you out.

2. Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

3. I hate it when someone turns the lights on while I`m asleep and I`m all like {oooo}

4. When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you’ve done recently.

5. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

6. If you watch the Titanic backward, it’s about a magical boat that emerges from the sea and saves people.

7. This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

8. Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn’t attend.

9. For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you’ll end up married.

10. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

11. As devastating as things may seem, there is always that glimmer of hope to guide you through the storm.

12. Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

13. Once again I’ve woken up without superpowers.

14. Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms.

15. Although I have loved and lost, it does not make this tragic time any less devastating. All that I can do is remember the life and love that was given and give thanks for the wonderful people brought together at such an enormous expense.

16. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

17. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

18. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

19. People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.

20. Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins became a tourist attraction.

21. I cannot change the seasons or the wind, but I can change myself

22. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

23. The best way to change a woman’s mind is to agree with her.

24. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. The five stages of waking up.

25. I love my life, it has its ups and downs, but I wouldn’t change it. I’m totally happy, and nothing and no one can take that away from me.

26. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart.

27. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only give you restlessness.

28. I can’t pinpoint the moment when we started working toward uncommon goals, but I’m fairly certain that it corresponds with the moment when we stopped being productive.

27. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

28. Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

29. Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.

30. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

31. What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

32. Realize your potential.

33. Don’t overreact or give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.

34. I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me, I knew he wasn’t a professional; the knife had butter on it.

35. That’s why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

36. The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.

37. By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn’t believe me.

38. Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.

38. Kudos to those who have the abilities to do what I cannot do.

39. My dreams are bigger than my wallet, but I’ll find a way.

40. If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

41. A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as him and hates them for it.

42. Some days I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.

43. People who say “I hate to bother you” need to learn to hate it a little bit more.

44. The only person you should try to be better than is the one you were yesterday.

45. Life is not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

46. A good day starts with a positive attitude and a great cup of coffee.

47. We have to hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, and lose in order to gain because most of life’s lessons are taught through the pain.

49. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

50.If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

51. The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money

52. I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”.

53. Life is a book. Sadly, I am writing in pen so I can’t go back and erase the mistakes I have made.

54. Every day is a second chance.

55. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

56. Try this for a day: Instead of saying, “I hate,” say “I dislike.”

57. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

58. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

59. Remember, it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.

60. Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed was game requests?

61. Doors will open for those bold enough to knock.

62. The difference between school and life is that school teaches you lessons and then gives you a test while life gives you a test that causes you to learn the lessons.

63. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

64. Don’t be so humble, you are not that great.

65. Waking up every day seems a little excessive.

66. People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they’re likely to cause.

67. In your life, you meet people: some you never think about again, some you wonder what happened to, and some you wonder if they think about you.

68. Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel; energies are contagious!

69. Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.

70. A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

71. Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it.

72 Every passing moment is another chance to turn it around.

73. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

74. You know you’re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.

75. Love the life you live, live the life you love.

76. Life is a dream: live it. Life is a challenge: meet it. Life is a song: sing it. Life is a promise: fulfill it.

77. I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for whom I am not. No one is perfect that’s why pencils have erasers.

75. A hero is born among a hundred, and a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand.

76. All noble things are as difficult as they are rare.

77. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week

78. Someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I told them happily. They told me I didn’t understand the question. I told them they didn’t understand life.

79. Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, some guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, and good times had pause buttons.

80. Love hurts more than hate”. I think we have made a perfect crime, I have stolen your heart and you have stolen mine.

81. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

82. A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.

83. All men’s souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.

84. Forgive those who hurt you even if whatever they did is unforgivable. You will forgive them not because they deserve it, but because you don’t want to suffer every time you remember what they did to you.

85. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

86. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something.

87. You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.

88. The only disability in life is a poor attitude.

89. Life is as random as the weather. You can’t change what’s headed your way, but you can be ready for whatever comes.

90. Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. I am in charge of how I feel and today I’m choosing happiness.

91. I was not part of the problem, but I will be part of the solution.

92. If you can’t get someone out of your head, then maybe they’re supposed to be there.

93. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

94. Today’s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.

95. Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.

96. Dream like you’ll live forever: live like you’ll die today.

97. Life isn’t about waiting until the storm is over; it’s about kicking off your shoes and dancing in the rain.

98. I collect smiles, and then I give them away. Appreciating the blessings God gave me.

99. A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.

100 Go away, bad mood. I didn’t invite you into my world today.

101. Look outside of yourself, and you will appreciate others’ accomplishments, failures, hardships, and journeys.

102. It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong.

103. I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It’s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.

104. Many people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75.

105. Life is like a roller coaster. It can be enjoyable, but it can be scary too. It’ll flip you, jerk you, and even hurt you. But it can also make you very, very happy.

106. Smile, Happy looks good on you. Keep smiling…one day life will get tired of upsetting you.

107. Being a new teacher is like trying to fly an airplane while building it.

108. If crying doesn’t make the sad things better, then why do we do it?

109. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.

110. Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.

111. My bank balance is a constant reminder that I’m safe from identity theft.

112. The simplest things in life are a smile, a hug, a kiss, holding hands are priceless treasures. Enjoy the simple things.

113. Life is like coloring: sometimes it’s okay to go outside the lines. It’s the experience of no boundaries that counts.

114. You never know how bad it hurts until it happens to you.

115. Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs but it’s your choice to either scream or enjoys the ride.

116. Being a teacher is a lot like being a rock star:

117. If you’re so caught up in avoiding lightning, you may not ever enjoy a single thunderstorm.

118. One of the great regrets of my life is that I suffered so many assholes so gladly for so many years, all for the sake of a paycheck.

119. I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

120. Nobody pissed me off today. I got to get out more.

121. Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.

123. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

124. There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

125. Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody.

126. No artist could ever compare to the mastery of Mother Nature.

127. I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

128. Lazy” is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

129. I’m pretty sure I have at least one ancestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.

130. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

131. The older I get, the less I care about what others think of me, and the less I care, the more I live.

132. I wasn’t drunk; I was just testing if the plant was as soft as my bed.

134. That moment when the random person you just met asks for your full name, and you know it’s because they want to stalk you on Facebook.

135. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

136. Blessed are the weird people. Poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters, and troubadours. For they teach us to see the world through different eyes.

137. Society is never going to make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other.

138. Someone at work said to me, “Inquiring minds want to know if you have a boyfriend.” I said, “Yes, I do, but don’t tell my husband.”

140. You don’t want to question me. I’ve forgotten more in the past week than you’ve learned your whole life.

141. When nothing is going right, go left.

142. Reality continues to ruin my life.

143. Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.

144. I always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was “I want a divorce”. but it’s actually, “What is your password”.

145. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

146. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

147. It’s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball. But won’t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry.

148. Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!

149. A bad attitude can literally block love, blessings, and destiny from finding you.

150. Treat me like a queen and I’ll treat you like my king. Treat me like a game. And I’ll show you how it’s played.

152. The happiest people are the people with the best attitudes, not the best lives.I wish I was as smart as I think I am.

153. A bad attitude is the worst thing that can happen to a group of people. It’s infectious.

154. When one maintains her proper attitude in life, he does not long after externals.

155. I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.

156. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

157. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

158. I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.

159. It’s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball… But won’t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry.

160. The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

161. A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing.

162. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

163. If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.

164. I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.

165. Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.

166. My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

167. Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.

168. You are telling me, a chicken fried this rice.

169. “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.”

170. In a word, most bad attitudes are the result of selfishness.

171. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that’s not my problem.

172. Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

173. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘OK’?

174. I just broke my record for most days lived.

175. I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?

176. Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.

177. A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”

178. A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.

179. I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.

180. Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.

181. I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.

182. Apparently, people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a “gym.”

183. It’s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.

184. When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, “I think it’s Santa Claus!” so I don’t have to get up.

185. Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I’m a valued customer at several grocery stores.

186. When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, “My wife took everything when she left”

187. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.

188. I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normally from time to time.

189. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

190. I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

191. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

192.  was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

193. Lucky for you, mirrors can’t laugh out loud.

194. Time is precious. Waste it wisely.

195. If something’s not going right, try left.

196. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you both are going in the same direction.

197. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

198. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.

199. A smile is the prettiest thing you’ll ever wear.

200. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box.

These are wonderful funny quotes I believe you’ve ever come across; you are free to use them on your Facebook status. I know you wouldn’t like to be a boring friend to others, so this is a means you can use to make your friends know how active you are on Facebook.

Am sure you found this article interesting and educative. Please leave your comments below and don’t forget to subscribe.

CSN Team

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