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Funny Birthday Quotes, Sayings and Messages for Your Best Friend

Filed in Message by on July 9, 2021

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The best people that one can be associated with are the ones who appreciate funny things in life, being able to laugh at situations even when one is getting older is a good thing, below are some funny birthday quotes for that special person on their birthday.

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

Birthdays are fun! Trying to find something to write on a birthday card though, not so much.

But worry not, because there are many hilarious quotes you can choose from to make someone smile on their special day. Just look at our funny birthday quotes and you’ll definitely find one that fits your liking. 

1. “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

2. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

3. “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” – Bob Hope

4. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” – Joan Rivers

5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

6. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler

7. “Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” – Rodney Dangerfield

8. “The older you get the better you get unless you are a banana.” – Betty White

9. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

10. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke

11. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty Collins

12. “If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” – Katherine Hepburn

13. “Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers

14. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers

15. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” – Erma Bombeck

16. “All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” – George Harrison

17. “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.” – Steven Wright

18. “Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.” – Aziz Ansari

19. “I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It’s so cool. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I’m like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I’m like the cake streak is over.” – Demetri Martin

20. “When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.” – Catherine Pulsifer

21. “Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” – Greg Tamblyn

22. “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.” – Felix Severn Funny Birthday Quotes

23. “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in my room and let them fight it out.” – Steven Wright

24. “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake!” – Mitch Hedberg

25. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” – Anonymous

26. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars-more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis

27. “Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.” – Unknown

28. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown

29. “Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.” – Unknown

30. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade.” – Unknown

31. ” A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost

32. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” – Ogden Nash Funny Birthday Quotes

33. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer

34. “Just remember once you are over the hill, you start to pick up speed.” – Charles Schultz

35. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H.V. Prochnow

37. “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn

38. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

39. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” – Catherine Pulsifer

40. “From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye.” – William Butler Yeats

41. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

42. “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.” – Unknown

43. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying

44. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb

45. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir 

46. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” – Charles Schulz

47. “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel Funny Birthday Quotes

48.) “At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.” – Unknown

49. “It’s better to be one month older than one month late!” – Unknown

50. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

51. I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. – Francis Bacon

52. Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t. – Richard Bach

Funny Birthday Quotes

53. Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. – Ogden Nash

54. Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. – Golda Meir

55. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. – Woody Allen

ALSO FOR YOU!!!

56. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – Charles Schulz

57. Eventually, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. – Will Rogers

58. We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary. – C. S. Lewis
Funny

59. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucille Ball

60. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain Funny Birthday Quotes

61. This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can just tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless. – Catherine Pulsifer

62. Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. – C.E.M. Joad

63. The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that! – Kate Summers

64. As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have the ability to control the flames. – Chaka Khan

65. Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. – Danish Proverb

66. Pamper yourself on your birthday, as in a few years someone will put a damper on your birthday reminding you of your age. – Byron Pulsifer

67. When we are old all our pleasures are behind us but when we are young all our troubles are before us. – Irish Saying

68. Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. – Kin Hubbard

69. You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful. – Cardinal Spellman

70. When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents. – Blair Sabol

71. Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade. – Author Unknown

72. At 50 your work is almost done, and retirement sounds like fun. So enjoy your day while you can still play. – Catherine Pulsifer Funny Birthday Quotes

73. You’re not forty, you’re eighteen with twenty-two years’ experience. – Author Unknown

74. You look 22, you feel like 18, you act like your 10, guess that makes you 50. Never change! Happy 50th – Author Unknown

75. When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there. – Catherine Pulsifer

76. I have to remind people even though I turning 65 I am very much alive. – Byron Pulsifer

77. As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Norman Wisdom

78. I wanted to get you something truly amazing and inspiring for your birthday. Then I remembered that you already have me.

79. Happy Birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.

80. Those aren’t gray hairs that you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.

81. Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up again! – Funny Birthday Quotes

82. You’re [insert age]? Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

83. [insert age] is a perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy Birthday!

84. Don’t worry. Those aren’t gray hairs. They’re wisdom-highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

85. Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!

86. Night sweats and hot flashes are nature’s way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement.

87. Happy Birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.

88. Happy Birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

89. I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us. Happy Birthday!

90. You’re not getting older… just more distinguished! Happy Birthday.

91. By the time you’re [insert age], you’ve learned everything – you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.

92. YOU SUCK!
…at aging. Can you at least try to look older?

93. You know you’re getting older when an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.

94. Middle age: that time when you finally get your head together – then your body starts falling apart.

95. Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

96. Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

97. How do you know you’ve hit middle-age? In preparation for a big sneeze, you cross your legs really hard and hope for the best!

98. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.

99. You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”

100. You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

101. A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

102. You know you’re getting old when the little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. – Funny Birthday Quotes

103. If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

104. A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.

105. I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.

If you enjoyed this article please share it with your friends and family, also bookmark this page for more articles like this. Thank You.

CSN Team.

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