Happy Gilmore Quotes about the Humorous Television Show
Happy Gilmore quotes are a big part of why Adam Sandler’s comedy is so cherished. While it might seem like just another golf movie compared to classics like Caddyshack.
It sets itself apart with its quirky humor, endearing characters, slapstick comedy, and most importantly, its heartfelt moments. We have compiled a list of Happy Gilmore quotes to inspire and amuse you.
Happy Gilmore Quotes
The film has become a classic in its unique way, it’s incredibly quotable because there’s a memorable Happy Gilmore quote in practically every scene.
Some of Happy Gilmore’s quotes are;
1. “Hey, why don’t I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What’d ya say?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
2. “You little son of a bitch ball! Why don’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass, the ball!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
3. “I didn’t break it, I was merely testing its durability, and I placed it in the woods cause it’s made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
4. “But she’s an old lady. I mean, look at her. She’s old. You can’t just take her stuff. She’s too old.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
5. “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
6. “You’re gonna die, clown!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
7. “Did that go in? I wasn’t watching, did it go in? I didn’t see it, could you tell me if it went in?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
8. “Friends listen to “Endless Love” in the dark.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
9. “I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on “Let’s Make A Deal.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
10. “The price is wrong, bitch.” – Happy Gilmore
Best Happy Gilmore Quotes
11. “I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
12. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
13. “That’s my puck, baby, don’t you ever touch my puck.” – Happy Gilmore Quotes
14. “Yeah, it is about time! I mean I just couldn’t get the ball in the hole! I wanted to but I just couldn’t do it!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
15. “Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
16. “Whoa, must be Burt Reynolds or somethin’.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
17. “I got into this tournament for one reason: money. And now I have a new reason: kicking your ass!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
18. “Green jacket, gold jacket who gives a crap?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
19. “If I saw myself in clothes like that, I’d have to kick my ass.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
20. “Yeah, well we won’t have to worry about eating anymore, Grandma. See, they gave me this card: free Subway for life.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
21. “You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
22. “You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
23. “Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
Famous Happy Gilmore Quotes
24. “I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something in the water.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
25. “Oh, you can count. Good for you.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
26. “You’re gonna die, clown!” – Happy Gilmore
27. “You’re gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion, ‘cause you’re never gonna get off that beach, just like the way you never got into the NHL, ya jackass.” – Jeering fan
28. “Hey, why don’t I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What’d ya say?” – Happy Gilmore
29. “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up.” – Orderly Nurse
30. “What? I didn’t break it. I was just testing its durability.” – Happy Gilmore Quotes
31. “The price is wrong, bitch!” – Happy Gilmore
32. “You little son of a bitch ball! Why don’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home?” – Happy Gilmore
33. “It’s all in the hips. It’s all in the hips. It’s all in the hips.” – Chubbs Peterson
34. “And you can count on me, waiting for you in the parking lot.” – Mr. Larson
35. “But she’s an old lady. I mean, look at her. She’s old. You can’t just take her stuff. She’s too old.” – Happy Gilmore
36. “Damned alligator just popped up, cut me down on my prime.” – Carl Weathers
37. “Lot of pressure. You’ve gotta rise above it. You’ve got to harness in the good energy, block out the bad.” – Gary Potter
38. “Some might call it luck. I like to call it—well, luck, I guess. So what?” – Happy Gilmore Quotes
Interesting Happy Gilmore Quotes
39. “Damn you, people. Go back to your shanties.” – Shooter McGavin
40. “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!” – Shooter McGavin
41. “Green jacket, gold jacket, who gives a crap?” – Happy Gilmore
42. “Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy, tap, tap, taparoo.” – Happy Gilmore
43. “Did that go in? I wasn’t watching, did it go in? I didn’t see it, could you tell me if it went in?” – Happy Gilmore
44. “I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive.” – Happy Gilmore
45. “I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on ‘Let’s make a deal.’” – Happy Gilmore
46. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.” – Happy Gilmore
47. “You were great out there today. But not that great. A lot of that was luck.” – Chubbs Peterson
48. “Yeah, it is about time! I mean I just couldn’t get the ball in the hole! I wanted to but I just couldn’t do it!” – Happy Gilmore
49. “Uh oh, Happy learned how to putt.” – Happy Gilmore
50. “I got into this tournament for one reason—money. And now I have a new reason—kicking your ass!” – Happy Gilmore
51. “Nah, it looks that way cause you’ve only got one shoe on.” – Happy Gilmore
52. “What? Friends listen to ‘Endless Love’ in the dark.” – Happy Gilmore Quotes
53. “That’s my puck baby. Don’t ever touch my puck!” – Happy Gilmore
54. “Damn alligator bit my hand off!” – Chubbs Peterson
Inspiring Quotes from Happy Gilmore
55. “You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?” – Happy Gilmore
56. “If I saw myself in clothes like that, I’d have to kick my ass.” – Happy Gilmore
57. “I think I just killed that mister, Mister Lady.” – Happy Gilmore
58. “You know what else could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass.” – Shooter McGavin
59. “Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.” – Shooter McGavin
60. “It’s great, the other day one of his fans moaned to me. He had Happy written on his ass. HA on the one cheek, and sure enough PPY on the other.” – Shooter McGavin
61. “I’ll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I’ll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.” – Happy Gilmore
62. “Oh, you can count. Good for you.” – Shooter McGavin
63. “All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there’s a problem—you’re not any good.” – Terry
64. “Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug playing yesterday. And I’ve got to tell you, this guy spends more time on the sand than David Hasselhoff.” – Shooter McGavin
65. “You’re in my world now, grandma.” – Orderly Nurse
66. “I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something in the water.” – Shooter McGavin
67. “Holy shit. Talk about your all-time backfires.” – Happy Gilmore Quotes
68. “What are you doing, Happy? Riding a bull? You’re acting like a damn fool!” – Chubbs Peterson
Comic Quotes from Happy Gilmour
69. “I’ll bet your neighbor the accountant doesn’t have a shot at joining the pro tour and winning the championships. Get that gold jacket like I never got.” – Chubbs Peterson
70. “This is golf. Not a rock concert.” – Shooter McGavin
71. “Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass.” – Happy Gilmore
72. “There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.” – Bob Barker
73. “I can’t believe you’re a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.” – Bob Barker
74. “Golf requires concentration and focus.” – Chubbs Peterson
75. “Golf’s no different from hockey. It requires talent and self-discipline.” – Chubbs Peterson
76. “You know what’s driving me crazy? You’re not getting the ball in the hole!” – Bob Baker
77. “Stop fraternizing with the help of Gilmore. Just hit your ball if you can find it.” – Shooter McGavin
78. “Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.” – Chubbs Peterson
79. “What’s this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?” – Virginia Venit
80. “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records. Most time spent in the penalty box and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.” – Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore quotes are like the perfect swing on the golf course of life, unexpected, hilarious, and unforgettable. These quotes offer a dose of humor and wisdom.
So, even if you’re facing challenges or just enjoying the journey, let Happy’s words be your comedic guide.
Don’t forget to take a look at our similar collection of quotes as you share with others to get inspired.
