Step Brothers Quotes (Staying Together in Peace and Love)

After 2004’s Anchorman, Step Brothers quotes has garnered the most quotes since its 2008 debut. The turbulent connection between Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, set against Adam Scott’s embodiment of clinginess, has since helped the movie attain cult status.

Step Brothers Quotes

Here are a bunch of Step Brothers quotes that will make you want to rewatch the movie.

1. “This cyclone in vanuatu. Is it pan or pam?”

2. “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback

3. “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”

4. “Gotta have my boats and hoes!” — Dale Doback

5. “Shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.”

6. “Last week I put liquid paper on a bee… And it died.”

7. “Don’t ever, ever touch my drum set. You understand?”

8. “Did we just become best friends? “Yep!”” — Brennan Huff

9. “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale Doback

10. “Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” — Derek

11. “I you wake me up… I will stab you, in the neck with a knife.”

12. “Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback

13. “I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my pe***!” — Brennan

14. “I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!” — lumberjack Brennan

15. “Boats ‘n’ hoes, boats ‘n’ hoes / I gotta have me my boats and hoes.”

16. “Robert better not get in my face, ’cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.”

17. “You know what gets my di** hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek

18. “I didn’t want Salmon! I said it four times! This wedding is horse sh**.”

19. “I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.”

20. “Your drumset is a wh***! I tea bagged your drum set!” — Brennan Huff

21. “Your singing is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback

22. “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my v***na.” — Alice. Step Brothers Quotes

23. “Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your a**.” — Brennan Huff

24. “My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” — Brennan

25. “I got a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this sh** on me?!”

26. “You’re wearing tuxedos to a job interview that requires you to clean bathrooms.”

27. “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback

28. “I’m f***ing miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback

29. “Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story…and possibly the evening.”

30. “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” — Dale Doback

31. “See that black smudge right there on the blade? Randy, Jackson, from American Idol.”

32. “I’m Brennan.” “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” “You have to call me Nighthawk.”

33. “The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Marian I’ll do you in the bottom while you’re drinking Sangria.”

34. “This house is a f***ing prison!” “On Planet Bulls**t!” “In the galaxy of This S***s Camel D***s!”

35. “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f*** one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback

36. “Hey Derek, you know what’s always good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butthole.” — Brennan

37. “You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face!”

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38. “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” — Nancy

39. “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” — Brennan Huff

40. “They broke! The bunk beds were such a terrible idea why did you make us do it? There;s blood everywhere!”

41. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” — Brennan Huff

42. “We sail around the world and go port to port / Every time I come I produce a quart” — Prestige Worldwide, “Boats ‘n’ Hos”

43. “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f***!”

44. “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” — Dale Doback

45. “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek

46. “I’m not gonna call him dad. Brendan you are 39 years old, I wouldn’t expect you to call him dad. Well I’m not going to, ever! Even if there’s fire.”

47. “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan Huff

48. “Or a feel minutes feel better but then my emotions decided to come back with a slap across my face and I sounded like I was choking on piece of biscuit from popeyes.”

49. “I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.” “You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.” “It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that sh** up every day..””

50. “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.” — Dale Doback

51. “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to sh** with the door open, we talk about pu, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback.

52. “Flat. It’s so flat, I can’t even…I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo…”

53. “I’ll lick the dog sh** if you leave us alone.” Step Brothers Quotes

54. “That’s cute, I remember when I had my first beer.”

55. “I was about six there. You don’t wanna see me go to ten.”

56. “I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma.”

57. “I don’t believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.”

58. “I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.”

59. “I honestly, thought that I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said,”Lets’s get it on.”

60. “I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback

61. “Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching cops.” — Brennan

62. “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”— Dale

63. “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” — Brennan

64. “I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”— Brennan

65. “So many activities!”– Brennan. Step Brothers Quotes

66. “This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”— Dale

67. “What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan

68. “They broke! The bunk beds were such a terrible idea why did you make us do it? There’s blood everywhere!” – Dale

69. “My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” – Brennan. Step Brothers Quotes

70. “I got a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this sh** on me?!” – Brennan

71. “Hey Derek, you know what’s always good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butthole.” – Brennan

72. “I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.” – Dale

73. “I don’t believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.” – Dale

74. “I honestly, thought that I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said,” Lets get it on.” – Brennan. Step Brothers Quotes

75. “I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma.” – Brennan

76. “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback

77. “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback

78. “Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback

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79. “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback

80. “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek

81. “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan Huff

82. “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” — Brennan Huff

83. I thought that I was going to be r*ped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes, and at one point, he said, let us get it on. — Brennan

84. I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nud*e magazines. — Brennan

85. That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur. — Dale

86. Brennan that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. — Dale

87. I know that you are technically married now, but that does not mean they have to live here. — Dale

88. If you’re referring to me as b**t buddy, then yes, I do have a name: and it’s Brennan Huff. — Brennan Alright, that is it! You guys leave me no choice! No television for a whole week! — Robert Doback

89. I’ve been called the songbird of my generation by people who have heard me. — Brennan Huff

90. You are not a doctor…you’re a big fat curly-headed f*ck. — Brennan

91. I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home. – Dale

92. Get out of my face, or I’m going to roundhouse you’re a*s. — Brennan Huff

93. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki! — Brennan Huff

94. I’m f**king miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning. — Dale Doback

95. One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands. — Dale Doback

96. Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You’ve got to f**k one, marry one, kill one. Go! — Dale Doback

97. I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma. – Brennan

98. I got a belly full of white dog cr*p in me, and now you lay this sh** on me?! – Brennan

99. This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.— Dale 

100. Your drumset is a w**re! I tea bagged your drumset! — Brennan Huff

101. My mom is being eaten by a dog, and there’s nothing I can do! — Brennan

102. Gotta have my boats and hoes! — Dale Doback

103. I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon. — Dale Doback

104. What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce? — Brennan

105. Do you want to do karate in the garage? — Brennan 

We therefore hope that this collection of Step Brothers quotes made you laugh aloud, whether you have a stepbrother that you love to hate or hate to adore, or whether you’re just a fan of good comedy.

If you find this quotes interesting and helpful, do well to share with friends and family to enjoy with you. 

CSN Team.