200 Most Popular Facebook Quotes 2022 About Love and Life
– 200 Most Popular Facebook Quotes 2022 –
Facebook is a world of its own. For some of us, Facebook is a get-away place, a popular location on the internet where go to read hilarious comments, funny quotes and view really amazing pictures.
It’s most times exciting to experience beautiful and unique expressions from folks we aren’t physically close to.
And sometimes, browsing through our Facebook newsfeed, we straight-up meet the most hilarious quotes of the day. Here is a complication of the famous Facebook quotes ever.
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Most Popular Facebook Quotes of all Time…
1. You can’t buy happiness. But you can buy chocolate. And that’s kinda the same thing.
2. There’s always that one girl in your school that will always make you lose your brain.
3. You do wanna cry? try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
4. Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, it’s you!
5. Enjoy those little things in life, because someday, you’ll look back and realize that they were all the big things you needed.
6. Money may never buy you happiness but certainly can improve the quality of your misery.
7. It’s sweet when someone knows every single detail about you. Not because you constantly remind them, but because they pay attention.
8. Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
9. Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, I told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
10. I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
11. Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
12. Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you’re saying what you really think of them.
13. I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out He didn’t work that way—so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness.
14. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
15. You can’t be late until you show up.
16. War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left.
18. If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
19. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
20. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
21. Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay. So if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.
22. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
23. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
24. Every rule has an exception, especially this one.
25. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. ~ Abba Eban
26. The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. ~ Frank Zappa
27. Don’t let your mind wander—it’s too little to be let out alone.
28. Life’s a bitch; if it were easy it’d be a slut.
29. I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
30. Death is life’s way of telling you that you’ve been fired. Suicide is your way to tell life, “You can’t fire me, I quit!”
31. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
32. I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.
33. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.
34. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
35. If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
36. Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
37. I have a busy day ahead: I have trouble to start, rumors to spread, and people to argue with.
38. I’m a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
39. I once stood in the back and said, “Everyone attack!” but it didn’t turn into a Ballroom Blitz.
40. Learn from Pandora’s mistake—think outside the box.
41. Don’t look now, but I’m hiding under your bed.
42. Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.
43. Freedom means the right to yell, “THEATRE!” in a crowded fire.
44. I wonder if Ikea has a decaf coffee table.
45. If a mute person burps, does it make a sound?
46. I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, “Parking Fine.”
47. Finding a job in this economy is like playing Where’s Waldo?—except that Waldo is looking for a job, too.
48. Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and didn’t want my arms to get cold reaching for the remote.
49. Which came first: The chicken or the egg?
50. Click LIKE if you consider yourself lucky. Then share your lucky moment.
51. Q: Are you addicted to the internet?
52. What’s another word for synonym?
53. Click LIKE if you sing in the shower.
54. War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left.
55. If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same fingerprints as my enemy
56. Never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she would not have become a princess.
57. If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
58. Status: I can’t log into Facebook.
59. I feel like getting something done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes…
60. I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you: the more you have, the longer you live.
61. Tip of the week: When going through airport customs and the TSA agent asks, “Do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply, “What do you need?”
62. I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort.
63. TEIAM—problem solved.
64. I just read a list titled “100 Things to Do Before You Die.” I’m pretty surprised “yell for help” wasn’t one of them.
65. I went to the book store earlier to buy the book Where’s Waldo. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played, Waldo, well played.
66. It recently became apparent to me that the letters “T” and “G” are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I’ll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase “Regards” ever again.
67. I have an oven with a “stop time” button. It’s probably meant to be “stop timer,” but I don’t touch it, just in case.
68. When a fly or small bug lands on your computer screen, has your first reaction ever been to try and scare it with the cursor?
69. People think I’m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).
70. The fact that I woke up this morning means that the assassins have failed again.
71. If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated,” maybe you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single.”
72. I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their motives.
73. How long do you think it would take to solve a Rubik’s cube if you were color blind?
74. I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.
75. I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I was pretty sure people were following me.
76. “Dammit I’m mad” is spelled the same way backwards. Think about it.
77. Who decided that paper beats rock? Let’s test this theory. Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of his or her face, then throw a rock at it. Who wins?
78. If you have someone following you that is ugly, they are a stalker. If the person is hot, they are your secret admirer.
79. Click LIKE if you consider yourself lucky. Then share your lucky moment.
80. A man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he was born and raised in the arms of a queen.
81. I always feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out!
82. REMEMBER: You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as beautiful as you`d ever imagined.
83. Friends are like orgasms… nobody wants the fake ones.
84. You know you’re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of google.
85. I like scrolling through my apps really fast. It feels like the big wheel on the “price is right”
86. Remember: Life isn’t about having amazing experiences, it’s about making mediocre experiences look awesome on Facebook.
87. “911 operator what’s your emergency” “Are ya’ll hiring?”
88. For those of you who think I don’t have friends, you are wrong. I have all 10 seasons on DVD.
89. If women think all men are the same, then why do they worry so much about picking the right one.
90. If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you… I would start thinking about you.
91. Thinking about suing my job for refusing to recognize my religion of being a bear and denying me my beliefs of winter hibernation.
92. Why do parents think it’s so easy to get straight A’s?
93. No matter what you do on the Computer, you always end up on Twitter, Facebook or YouTube.
94. That annoying moment when you have to keep removing your headphones because someone keeps talking to you.
95. Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you, is like hugging a cactus. The longer you hold on, the more it hurts.
96. The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cell phone.
Best Facebook Statuses about Life
97. Every passing moment is another chance to turn it around.
98. I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than yesterday.
99. What if birthmarks are just scars from where you were killed in your previous life.
100. There really is no good way to tell a man who doesn’t speak English that his pants are unzipped.
101. Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
102. If you are running away from your problems, you might as well chase after your dreams.
103. Life is what happens while you’re trying to make it back to bed.
104. If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
105. A woman’s superpower is turning an insignificant misunderstanding into a catastrophe of biblical proportions.
106. The awkward moment when you’re waiting for a text but then you realize you’re the one who didn’t reply.
107. I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters.
108. I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
109. Do they make Edible Arrangements but with pizzas?
110. Serenity now = insanity later.
111. The greatest thing about Facebook is that you can quote something and totally make up the source. ~ Julius Caesar
112. My cell phone is so outdated that it has a rotary dial.
113. There are more than two kinds of people in this world. Don’t believe the bumper stickers.
114. Don’t make me have to wound your inner child.
115. I hate when mimes get in your face and don’t say anything. ~ Butthead
116. The angle of the dangle is adversely proportional to the heat of the beat.
117. I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we were alongside the road, and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it—he was a dwarf! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!” I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”
118. Fell off the jet way again. ~ Lloyd Christmas, Dumb & Dumber
119. If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Ireland. And Japan. And Peru. And I’d want to see the Grand Canyon. And the other two oceans. It would be a pretty busy week.
120. If Sergeant Extreme and Major Awesome had visited my high school, I probably would have joined the US Army too.
121. Dear Facebook: Please stop asking me what’s on my mind. I’m gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
122. I stopped to smell the roses once. A bee flew out of the flower and up my nose, stung me in the nasal vestibule, and caused a severe allergic reaction and six days of swollen septum. Now whenever I see roses, I keep walking.
123. I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream 2. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy, but then the murderer comes back and starts killing off all of her friends. I learned a lot of lessons from that movie. This is just one of them.
124. I once reported my roommate to INS. Turns out she’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.
125. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
126. When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did nothing. I watched Cookie Monster sing “Chocolate Rain” about a thousand times. ~ Michael Scott, The Office
127. If I were joking, you would be laughing. Do you look like you are laughing? ~ Michael Scott, The Office
128. I’ve never had champagne that tastes like cherry cola, but I know someone who wants to live like the ape man.
129. Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me—no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make. ~ Michael Scott, The Office
130. Security in this office is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? ~ Dwight Schrute, The Office
131. I didn’t say, “Abe Lincoln,” I said, “Hey, Blinken!” ~ Ahchoo, Robin Hood: Men In Tights
132. I’m gonna grab one of those bulls over there and ride into town like a conquistador to challenge Hatcher to a duel, show him who the real tooth fairy is.
133. I would hate to live a life without extreme passion and breathtaking moments of lust.
134. Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
135. You can’t see your next if you`re too busy looking at your Ex.
136. I wish there was an alarm clock that released like 50 puppies on your face to wake you up.
137. Done my Christmas shopping. Got everyone a box with nothing in it and a note saying, “Sorry the World was supposed to end so I didn’t get you anything. Blame the Mayans.”
138. I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
139. Don’t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
140. That ONE person you can`t stop thinking about……until you have food in front of you.
141. Sometimes I wish I could read your mind. Then, I wonder if I could handle the truth.
142. I just want everyone to know that I have gone another day without being stabbed repeatedly. I want to thank my friends who did not stab me repeatedly, the fans of the Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly page, the creator of the Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly page, and the many people who contributed to this cause by not stabbing me repeatedly. Without you, I might have been stabbed repeatedly, of which I am not a fan. (Of course, this status is much more effective if you are a Facebook fan of “Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly.”)
143. I was God once. It was going really well until everyone died.
144. Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer “extortion.” The “X” makes it sound cool. ~ Bender, Futurama
145. Leela cracked corn, and I don’t care. Fry cracked corn, I still don’t care. Bender cracked corn, and he is great! Take that, you stupid corn! ~ Bender, Futurama
146. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged.
147. It’s been 243 days since my last attempt to take over the world. I’ve been distracted by my current mission: to leave everyone uninformed and clueless.
148. I do not have the time to listen to you whine, you melodramatic fool.
149. I don’t want a large Farva! I want a goddamn liter-o’-cola!! ~ Officer Farva, Super Troopers
150. The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life. Could you imagine if I went into work, did half of the job, then said, “Come back next week for the continuation!”
151. How did you fit a lion in your pocket? No wonder it’s ready to roar.
152. First the earth cooled, then the dinosaurs came, and they all bought Benzes.
153. Who is Pete and why is it for his sake?
154. I danced with a squirrel in my car because I’m sexy, and I do what I want.
155. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer. ~ Ace Ventura, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
156. Call the FBI and tell them I fell down a flight of stairs! ~ Dr. Oz, The Whole Nine Yards
157. If my employer were more democratic than communist, they might allow us to vote on making Wednesday part of the “mid-week weekend” incentive program that I just made up. I vote “aye,” save me, Jebus! ~ Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
158. Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone? But sometimes when you get it back, it’s horribly deformed and covered in an unusually smelly gelatinized mass that you can’t identify.
159. I’d pay a dollar and a half to see a tree museum.
160. The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese. ~ Senator Ortolan Finistirre, Thank You For Smoking
161. My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning.
162. I was totally fine. I’ve never even been to Mount Vesuvius. ~ Hansel, Zoolander
163. Easy, guys, I put my pants on just like the rest of you—one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records. ~ Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson, SNL
164. I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell ~ Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson, SNL
165. Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist.
166. The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil, or adventurous is about to happen.
167. If the game doesn’t freeze every six minutes, then you’re not watching Fox.
168. I had part of a slinky once. I straightened it.
169. If you cooked any slower, you wouldn’t need an egg timer; you’d need an egg calendar. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
170. I am notcrazy! At least, no more than any normal person should be.
171. Who likes fruitcake? I mean, really, giving you a fruitcake for a present is just another way of saying, “I dislike you so much that I’m going to give you 2000 calories of jellied fruit and nut compacted into a brick and wrapped in plastic.”
172. (Name) is trying not to think about penguins.
173. Good things are coming soon. Stay tuned for more information after a few words from our sponsors.
174. (Name) wants to go someplace warm where the beer flows like wine.
175. Whisper down the lane is not as much fun on Facebook as it was when we used to sit in rows on the floor of the school gymnasium.
176. You’re so vain, you probably think this status is about you.
177. I wish I was as smart as I think I am.
178. The next time somebody texts me with “k,” I’m going to tell them that they smell like a hippo. And when they respond with “WTF??” I’m going to respond with just “k.”
179. Whoever says that pizza is not good for you is so wrong. You can actually get every single food group into a single slice. You can’t say that about much else.
180. (Name) thinks the xylophone is totally underrated.
181. If Santa were to name his balls, would he call one “Milk” and the other “Cookies”?
182. If winning doesn’t matter, then why keep score?
183. It’s amazing how something as simple as yelling and throwing things, although it doesn’t solve your problems or help you find a solution, still makes you feel better! Now I need something to throw and somewhere to yell.
184. (Name) is not the rope-totin’ Charlie Bronson wannabe.
185. (Name) needs to master the art of patience. Quickly.
186. If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never drinks called a non-alcoholic?
187. If you think you have nothing to be thankful for today, consider this: At least you’re not a turkey. Happy Holidays, folks. Enjoy your time today. (Only effective on Thanksgiving Day.)
188. I lost my accountabilibuddy.
189. And there will be someone that comes along one day and offers you an entire galaxy when you only expected a single planet.
190. If you ever ask me how many times you’ve crossed my mind, I would say once. Because you came and never left.
191. The day I met you, my life changed… The way you make me feel is hard to explain. That for true love you make me smile in a special kind of way that for true love. I realize you make me fall deeper in love every day.
192. I’d rather spend one moment holding you than a lifetime knowing I never could.
193. For once in my life, I don’t have to try to be happy. When I’m with you, it just happens because of you.
194. I am absolutely, definitely, positively, unquestionably, beyond any doubt, in love with you.
195. I’m so totally completely eye-popping seriously groundbreaking passionately deliciously in love with him.
196. I need you. Because you make me laugh more than anyone else, and I’m the best me when I’m with you for your love. And because when you’re gone, nothing feels right until you return because of your true love.
197. You don’t need to promise me the moon and the stars, just promise me you will stand under them with me forever.
198. Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.
199. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
200. As devastating as things may seem, there is always that glimmer of hope to guide you through the storm.
CSN Team.
