100 Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages, and Quotes.
Funny Christmas Wishes: Christmas is one of the most important Christian festivals. It is a religious ritual to mark the best of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is a season of love, cheerfulness, and merriment. Notwithstanding, do not be caught up in the religious activities that you don’t have fun.
Christmas is celebrated at the end of the year affords us the opportunity to meet with and celebrate with distant relatives and loved ones. Funny messages and wishes can be a powerful uniting force at this moment. Here are 100 Funny Christmas Wishes and Messages for celebrating the season.
100 Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages and Quotes
I hope your smiles will just be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! Wish you good luck and a great deal of fun. Happy Christmas!
I hope Santa fills our socks with cash money instead of gifts and toys. I realize you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!
You are permitted to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Make some extraordinary memories!
Just wanted you to realize that you have literally no possibility of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!
Some people have an extraordinary year in life and some years have bad people in them. Feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be loaded with fun!
I tried to hard to cause Santa to believe that you’ve been good consistently. Instead, I got my presents canceled for being a friend of you!
I asked that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth for eternity. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!
You realize your life sucks when you need to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because obviously, nobody care to give you a present.
This Christmas is tied in with feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely overlook you’re a loser!
Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have an incredible decoration there. Be that as it may, I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!
One important principle of Christmas; You can eat all the sweet candies as long as you remember to brush your teeth. Merry Christmas!
May you survive the boring speech of priest in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!
Christmas is season of magic and mystery. Every one of your savings for the year will have vanished and you won’t know it. How awesome!
The reason why everyone makes wishes in each Christmas is that nobody’s wish actually comes valid! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!
You are too youthful to even think about going to a club and have a drink and too old to even consider expecting gifts from Santa. Truth be told, you just don’t fit into the joys of Christmas!
I don’t have the foggiest idea whether you realize it or not, however you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Indeed, even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!
Christmas is for praying and praising As well as for drinking and messing around also, Merry Christmas!
Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Much obliged to you!
Christmas is genuinely brimming with wonders. It makes the entirety of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic, Merry Christmas!
Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of an exposed lady with leaves covering the body, Santa asked what’s happening with you and she answered: Waiting for fall.
I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I included the wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!
Christmas at my house is always at any rate six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And keeping in mind that everyone else is seeing just a single Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
Christmas is mostly for children. In any case, we adults can appreciate it too until the credit card bills arrive!
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!
I don’t understand why people like to say “Mary Christmas.” Isn’t it Jesus’ birthday? We should say, “Jesus Christmas.”
I’ve finally discovered the genuine meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
Santa told me you’d been generally excellent this year, I told him it was just absence of opportunity. Merry Christmas!
Please permit Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas, If he sees you there he may not. So come here and host a gathering with me, Merry Christmas to you!
I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have some good times Christmas!
A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to acquire any money from elves; They’re always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!
Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Much obliged to you.
I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I truly would cherish a new credit card as well!
Hello both of you, It’s the old, unshaven person and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Because of cutbacks, toys not included.
Is Santa so busy that he can’t find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his facial hair.
Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!
I have Kept some photos in my home So come here instead of Church you can drink and supplicate, And not any more boring speech from the priest Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
Everyone knows the most important aspect of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get the opportunity to see all the time. At that point you have an excuse to neglect them the rest of the year.
There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can contact me faster. I oftentimes nodded off waiting for him.
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Each time I see you, I think of Santa. You share so many things practically speaking with that big, fat person aside from that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!
You are a gigantic blessing in my life (just more than 200 pounds!!). I’m happy that you didn’t fall upon me directly from the sky. Merry Christmas!
I kept in touch with Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Presently, I’m waiting for Santa’s answer. Merry Christmas!
Christmas has been postponed because I did not receive my late-night kiss. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you need to give me an embrace as a punishment. Merry Christmas!
Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!
Christmas is tied in with spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make an ideal Christmas for me this year!
May your Christmas be spent in eating candies and cakes as long as you remember brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!
The one and only principle for you to follow this Christmas; don’t drink excessively if I’m not there to carry you home! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas dear! The only thing that I hate about Christmas is a bearded, fat moron invading our home at midnight and calling you A ‘Ho’.
Christmas likely could be a season to celebrate for you, yet for me, it means trying my ass off to save each and every penny I gained this year and endure to the following year.
Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have a great time of our life and afterward we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!
The genuine magic of Christmas is the point at which you cause my savings to disappear without me realizing what occurred. You’re really a blessing in disguise of a wife!
How about we drink till we start admitting our sins to one another and afterward sober up realizing we don’t remember anything from last night. What an incredible Christmas that would be!
I wished to be surrounded by good people, not the ones that spoil my mood. In any case, Santa told me that offer was not for married people.
In case I neglect to bring presents for you, keep your doors open, Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
What should have been a day for going to churches and attending prayers, instead became a day for the wives to cause their husband’s savings to disappear. This is Xmas day for you!
The season has finally come for each husband on the planet to finally become penniless from being rich. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.
They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart… yet cash and gift cards do wonders as well! Happy Holidays!
I’ve never decked the halls and I have no clue about what Jingle Bell rock is. Yet, I hope your Christmas rocks!
It’s the most awesome season indeed – until everything has to be cleaned up, and the credit card bill arrives.
If I were to re-write the “12 Days of Christmas,” I would include things like chocolate, cocktails, and extravagant dinners instead of French hens and turtle doves.
It seems that the Christmas season keeps getting earlier every year. If it gets any earlier, Halloween is going to feel offended.
Sometimes I sense that I should leave my Christmas decorations up throughout the year; it seems that when I bring them down, it’s time to return them up again!
I can’t help thinking about how Santa celebrates Christmas day. After the late-night shift he pulls, I wager he stays in bed throughout the day and does nothing. Sounds nice.
It must be hard living in the North Pole like Santa Claus. I can’t imagine living in a spot where there’s no pizza delivery! Hope your X-mas delivers some happiness!
Christmas is the only time of year when I purchase nuts, and it’s the only time of year I have an inclination that I may go crazy. May you keep your sanity this holiday season!
Happy holidays! May your egg nog contain enough rum to get you through the Christmas season!
As I child I loved the taste of fresh, white snow. In the wake of trying some yellow snow first, I discovered the white snow to be a whole lot better.
Merry Christmas! May Santa fill your stocking with winning lottery tickets! Hope you holiday season is a winner!
Santa can definitely do some really amazing things. Be that as it may, I truly wish he could make “late fees” disappear off of bills. Merry Christmas!
Your height is a sight to remember, which reminds me of affection coming in tiny packets. I wish that Santa Claus gets a height increasing medicine as gift for you. Jokingly yours always. Merry Christmas to you.
You are the most beautiful friend I ever had, who shielded me from evil like a bit of Kajal. It is an aspect of the funny Christmas quotes for cards that has been unleashed for you. Merry Christmas to my dear buddy
You are my best buddy, who tested my sanity always and appreciated on my frightful moments. Merry Christmas to my sweetheart, who has been the red chilly in my life.
May your celebration bills be as extensive as the fun appreciated with me becoming the reason of your fat bills. Merry Christmas to my old friend, who has not been giving me a treat for quite a long time.
Christmas gift distribution by Santa Claus will be on a halt this year because you told him to be nicer to me than previously. Furthermore, he is in a bit of shock. Merry Christmas to my naughty buddy.
Old friends are like old wine, which gets better with time. What’s more, of course, the taste of friendship remains intact. This Christmas, I remind you that you owe me a treat like each year. Merry Christmas.
Nothing in this world is as smart as you because of your witty nature and intense humor. You fill my heart with joy each time with naughty remarks. Merry Christmas to the jokester in my life.
Like merits enjoying with a friend like you, who have always been bringing moments of happiness. You complete me in times of fun and sorrows as well. I appeal to Lord Jesus to strengthen our friendship more this Christmas.
Christmas is the loveliest festival in the year, which can’t be celebrated without the most delightful friend of mine. Waiting for you to arrive at a long time before Christmas, so that we can let loose. Merry Christmas.
May the festival of Christmas bring in peace and prosperity in your life because you hold a special position in my heart. Merry Christmas to my dear buddy.
Never complete without you because you are the most special friend in my life, who brought all the happiness. Merry Christmas to my special friend.
On this Christmas day, I wish that you get everything in life that has been carving for. Along with this, I appeal to strengthen our bond of friendship perpetually. Merry Christmas to my sweetest pal.
Christmas is not just a holiday; it is a moment to rejoice the birth of peace on earth in the form of Lord Jesus. May he bless you will all the happiness in life. Merry Christmas dear.
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie Whit
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie
“Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.” – Sean Hughes
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller.
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